Iamanironyenabler and I decide to go for a hike in Big Bear. Which trail promises to be most picturesque slash entertaining?! We decide to trek out to Castle Rock Trail. Mostly because it’s named Castle Rock. (I have a decently strong affinity towards castle-like things.)
After a solid stint in traffic, and an almost life-imperiling u-turn, we make it to the trailhead. Success! Exciting things to come!
Exciting things like a trail completely covered in ice. Awesome. I may or may not be wearing slouchy boots with little to no traction. I also may or may not be blessed with a serious lack of coordination. See: A Nice Little Sunday, Sidewalks are Made For Short People, Starting the Week Off Well , Snuggies May Not Be Safe.
I fall as soon as I step onto the trail. Literally. Instantaneously. Iamanironyenabler helps me back up and we idealistically press on. Approximately 3 and a half feet later, we begin to question whether this is a good idea/or physically possible. We also begin to question whether or not there’s even a castle at the top of this Castle Rock Trail.
A couple comes around the corner, making their way back down, and we posit our queries. Good idea? In theory, not in practice. The entire trail is a sheet of ice. Possible? For the two of you? In those clothes? Absolutely not. Castle? We didn’t make it to the top. (They didn’t seem to care as much about the castle as we did. Rude.) Also, I would have taken offense to their assertion that the trail would be impossible for us, were it not for the fact that I was once again sitting on my a$$. It was really slippery.
We decide to abort the mission and head back. Head back down the semi-steep incline of seemingly treacherous ice. At one point, I am literally gripping on to a well-buried tree root, as I wait for iamanironyenabler to help me finagle my way to a safe standing spot. Step. By. Step.
Pathetic? Probably. Embarrassing? Absolutely.
We attempt to drive to another trail, but I’m put on map duty, so we miss that turn pretty efficiently. Right.
Maybe we’ll try hiking tomorrow instead…