I received a text yesterday from a Pasadena number. Message: Hello
I racked my brain. Yes, I sometimes give my number to strangers because it’s easier than not giving them my number, but I haven’t done that in months. I reply: Who is this?
Is this Stacey????
Annoying. Can you please answer the question and also never spell my name like that again? Thanks. Still unsure of the sender’s identity, I decide I should play nice. Ish. Yes. I apparently don’t have your number in my phone. Who is this?
Brace yourself.
We small talked when we met u gave me the number I called two or three times u never picked up…u was fine as ever once again hope ya doing well
Oh joy of joys. He has returned. A YEAR LATER. In case you don’t remember this fine fellow, here is my previous post, extracted from ironyisalifestyle's blogspot archives:
Girl meets boy. Girl is so not into boy. Boy asks for girl’s number. Girl debates path of least resistance.
"Do you have a card?"
This way, not only does she avoid giving him her number, but she can also make it seem a little more business-y. She doesn’t want any curious onlookers to think she’s actually into this dude. She has a reputation to uphold. Or would like to think she does. Or at least would like these complete strangers to think she does.
"Not on me. Here, just take down my number and give me a call."
Phew. That was easy.
"Ok, it was nice to meet you. Have a great evening."
She turns to get into her car. He grabs her arm. Gently, yes, but that’s still a not-so-distant cousin of domestic abuse. She pulls her arm away and gives him a look of the please don’t ever touch me again variety.
"Call me now, so I’ll have your number."
UGH. Should have taken the basically engaged route. This is getting messy. And taking entirely too long. Girl did not plan on spending her Saturday night talking to some random dude. She has matzo ball soup to eat. And 30 Rock on DVR.
She calls.
"805 huh?"
Ok. Conversation is over. She is done talking. She needs to get in her car and debate whether to spend the $4.99 AT&T charges to block a number. Not that she has that piece of information at her fingertips.
"Yup. Ok bye. I gotta run. Great meeting you."
Lies. All lies.
"Ok, girl. I’ll call you."
Pause. Head tilt. Did he just say, ok, girl?? Sigh. Yes. Yes he did.
Boy sends text message the next day, citing himself as the handsome fellow you met last night. Girl debates whether or not to clarify that they met in the late afternoon, possibly even early evening, but definitely not at night. She decides against it and ignores the text.
Two days later, boy sends another text message: Hope u ok„, ya know u could have said not intrested and not go thru the motions of takin the number ya know, I’m a grown man girl I can take a no. Followed quickly by: I hope this doesn’t happen to you being intrested in someone and they ignore or go thru the motions.
Yes, he used commas as ellipses. He left the ‘e’ out of interested (twice) and, seemingly purposefully, dropped the g from taking. And I’m a grown man girl I can take a no?? I mean…wow. That would have been spectacular, were it not annoyingly semi-colon deprived.
She ignores these texts as well. She assumes this is the last she will hear from him.
She assumes wrong.
One month later: Hey girl how yo fine a** doin’?
Needless to say, that did not garner a reply.
Girl hopes she never runs into boy again.