Look No Further - Your Holiday Girlfriend is Here

Look No Further - Your Holiday Girlfriend is Here

December 5, 2011 Stacie Corliss

By now, you’ve probably heard tell of the the San Francisco dude seeking his seasonal soulmate…on Craigslist.  But did you actually reply to his ad? I did. Well, technically, Rebecca Dwyer did.Let’s start from the beginning.improbablygonna… — **By now, you’ve probably heard tell of the the San Francisco dude seeking his seasonal soulmate…on Craigslist. But did you actually reply to his ad?**
**I did. Well, technically, Rebecca Dwyer did.**
**Let’s start from the beginning.**
*improbablygonnabeacatlady* sends me a link to super-bro’s personal ad:

…I know. SWOON.  improbablygonnabeacatlady and I decide we have no choice but to conjure up a new persona and send a heartfelt reply. Let’s see how this active, outgoing small business owner reacts to a solid dose of sardonic sass.  T… — …I know. SWOON. *improbablygonnabeacatlady* and I decide we have no choice but to conjure up a new persona and send a heartfelt reply. Let’s see how this active, outgoing small business owner reacts to a solid dose of sardonic sass. *This will be so funny!!! Wonder which Marina bar he’ll suggest for their first cocktail half hour!*
**15 minutes later, Rebecca Dwyer was born. And this was en route to Romeo’s inbox:**

2 days later. No reply. Probably going to wait the requisite 3 days. NBD. I get busy with [my incredibly exciting] life and fail to notice that an entire week has passed. Omg. He’s probably dying, wondering why I haven’t replied yet! I can hard… — **2 days later. No reply. Probably going to wait the requisite 3 days. NBD.**
I get busy with [my incredibly exciting] life and fail to notice that an entire week has passed. Omg. He’s probably dying, wondering why I haven’t replied yet! I can hardly wait to see the fratastic gem that is surely residing in Rebecca’s inbox!
…
**Nothing. There is nothing in her inbox.**
**I checked again today, JIC. (Just in case. Duh.) Still nothing in her inbox, aside from Gmail’s excessive slash unnecessary welcome messages.**
**Awesome. My Internet creation can’t even get a fake date with a douchebag on Craigslist.**
**Maybe he’s in the hospital?**

The trials & travails

of

stacie corliss

an autobiography. filed under awkwardness & embarrassment at your local library.

don't try to ask them about it at the desk. it gets really weird...really fast.

Note from the author:
my existence is magically tragic. mostly because jesus has decided to use my life for his own entertainment. it's okay to be a little bit jealous.