My third date with eHA occurred very near to the end of my experiment, ie very near to when things started to pick up with Tinder Oliver. Which led to an awkward, easy to misunderstand denouement on my part. This is how that went down:
Read MoreDate 22: eHarmony Andrew
eHA: Hey there - I'm sorting out my week; are you free for dinner? Tonight, possibly, or toward the end of the week are best for me. Check out Jake Bugg if you need to stave off a case of the Mondays.
Tonight sounds spectacular. Jake Bugg works his magic on my maudlin Monday, crooning me into a contented state for my third date with eHarmony Andrew. (Our first was a marathon chatfest at Frolic Room and the second an ultramarathon chatfest over football and a Malibu drive.) eHA picks me up at 8:30, and we head over to The Little Door for a delightful dinner. He's loosened up a bit since last time, which makes me a little more comfortable as well.
I know exactly what I'm going to order -- shaved Brussels sprout salad and scallops, please and thank you. eHA is less decisive, and asks our server to select his courses for him. So trusting. I feel like there's a metaphor in here somewhere.
Conversation flows easily, as it has from our very first date. There is something quite comforting about having so much in common with a person. And he's such a solid, grounded guy, with an obviously genuine heart. In between courses he beckons for my hands, holding them across the table. Oh God. So sweet. So romantical. So...awkward. Feelin' a little PDA-y over here. (My apologies to the couple seated approximately 3 inches away from us.)
...
Back at my place, he walks me to my door where we have the customary date denouement chat. Pause. His hand goes for my hip as his face goes in for the kiss. It's been quite interesting to see each guy's go-to technique.
Brief pause. He goes back in for round two, "I've been wanting to do this for about three dates now, so I'm just going to keep it going a bit longer." Oh man. So earnest.
When I finally turn to walk inside, he grabs the door before it can close behind me and draws me in for a good ol' third time's the charm. Ho-kay.
And then he self-consciously comments on the door handle.
How is this attractive, successful, gentleman of a man so nervous right now? And why do I find it more wearying than endearing??
...
Because I'm usually the nervous one? Because I'm usually the one saying dumb things with absolutely zero pertinence to the events at hand? Because I am usually [read: always] so mortified afterward?
Nothing like seeing one of your least favorite personal traits reflected in a suitor to bring out your worst emotional reaction!
Regardless, it was quite a lovely evening, and I could definitely get used to being treated so gently.
...
I think?
*not his real name
Date 15: eHarmony Andrew
eHarmony Andrew* suggests we start our second date by watching the Nebraska game at Q's Billiard Club. The only downside is the 9a kickoff time.
8:45 comes very early, but eHA swoops me up in all my yawning glory, smile on his face and black tea in hand.
eHA: Outside when you're ready.
Mirth n' cheer, caffeine and zero pressure. He gets me.
We claim a couple stools amongst fellow Cornhuskers, get our hands on a couple Bloody Mary's, and have ourselves a couple-a good ol' times watching UNL win. Somewhere in the middle of the cheering and nail-biting, a decently deep conversation transpires. Hopes, dreams, dangerously boring hobbies -- nothing's off the table.
Victory secured, we hop in eHA's Jeep for a sun-kissed ride into Malibu. His roadtrip-ready soundtrack spurs a musical gabfest and the promise of shared Spotify playlists. I feel like I'm getting little life gifts from every date -- and I really love gifts.
We make our way through the back roads to a rustic, Western-inspired restaurant called the Old Place that is 100 percent charming. Wine, apple crumble, a guitar player in the corner strumming serenades. At one point, a motorcyclist powers through the front door, pulls a harmonica out of his pocket, and joins the guitarist for a delicate duet.
Standout second date, eHA. Job well done.
Since I'm still working on that whole growth and self-improvement thing, I make note of everything about eHarmony Andrew that bothers me. He's a loud talker, an over-explainer, a bit stodgy...but then he stodgily buys a round for the impromptu musical duo, with such a zest for life, and it's just so...endearing. Really loving his love for everything. And his impeccable manners. Such a sucker for old-school etiquette.
Valerie June and Townes van Zandt take us back to my place in a pleasant groove. eHA walks me to my door like the gentleman he is, and I immediately fall into bed. Is it really only 4 'o clock?
*not his real name
Date 10: eHarmony Andrew
My first eHarmony date! FINALLY.
Having successfully typed our way through the gauntlet that is eHarmony's Guided Communication, eHarmony Andrew and I decide to switch over to regular old email, where we lay out details for a Monday night date.
I have a 7:00pm basketball game on Monday evening. I'm thinking we meet at or near the venue around 9? Sound like a plan?
- A
p.s. When I entered your info into my phone, I accidentally dialed you, assuming my frantic "end call" flailing didn't save me in time. Sorry about that.
Huge fan of the over-honesty.
We meet at Frolic Room in Hollywood, with the intention of continuing on to Bardot for School Night. Spoiler Alert: We never make it to Bardot.
I first walk in the door to find a tall, corn-fed guy sitting somewhat awkwardly amidst the dinge in his lawyer uniform. Adorable. Apparently a few of the bar's finest had him pegged as a limo driver, so I get to play celebrity client. Totally one of my favorite games?
My initial fears of stilted conversation are immediately vanquished by our impressive list of commonalities: We're both from Nebraska/can chat Pelini, Osborne, and the option for at least a solid few hours. eHarmony Andrew is a former Navy man. My grandpa is a former Navy man. eHarmony Andrew's sister used to model in NY/lived in the East Village, but now lives in Beverly Hills/owns a pastry shop. I used to model in NY/lived in the East Village, but now live in Beverly Hills/consume so many pastries. eHarmony Andrew is a lawyer. I still have an LSAT book on my shelf.
Unsurprisingly, eHarmony Andrew and I close down the dive bar. We then realize we're starving and head over to K24 for some late-night grub. Over a lovely spread of veggie burger and steak, he discloses that he did click on my blog for a second, but x-ed out of the screen immediately, because felt like he was spying on me - he understands that creative people need their freedom.
...Swoon. So cute. Except for the excessive hair-flipping going on over on that side of the table. Let's maybe not do quite so much of that.
eHA: I don't mean to be too direct, but I really enjoyed last night. I know we are both busy so I didn't want to wait too long to try to make plans again. Are you free this weekend? I was thinking dinner on Friday or the NU game on Saturday (SC has a much needed bye).
Love direct. Totally free.
Back at home, one of my besties and I engage in a little girl talk recap via email:
Bestie: How did dates two go? I don't think I can wait for the blogs. Will there be a date three for either of the date twos? Agh! xoxoxo
Me: Bahaha. Both dates were spectacular. Seriously. It's so confusing haha. The fair was basically the quintessential carnival experience - we held hands on the scary ride, made robots in the kids' craft section, he won me the biggest prize, we ate fried food, and got molested by snakes lol. And then he spent half of yesterday sending me links of John Krasinski acting like a marionette.
Arctic Monkeys was super fun. We ended up going to a dive bar after and having a very serious dart competition. And then made out like teenagers. We're doing dinner downtown Saturday (read: right by his apartment) and then this haunted house thing the following Friday.
Tonight was my first eHarmony date with a man who is also from NE. We were supposed to grab a drink and then go to School Night, but we ended up talking for five hours, never made it to Bardot, and went to K24 at 2am.
Tomorrow is date two with Match Nathan. I don't really think there's any chemistry - at least not on my end - but he's SO nice, so I figure it's worth another roll of the dice. He's picking me up at 5:30 and we're going downtown for dinner and then to a show at Mark Taper Forum.
DEEP BREATH.
XX
*Not his real name